I gotta tell ya.  Weirdness follows me around like a bad dream.  Hey!  Did I just make that up or is that a common expression?  The dream part?  If I made that up I'm pretty clever!  Anywho, let me recount my morning session of "laughter yoga".  I had never heard of it so assumed there was actual yoga involved.  Not so my friends!  Laughter yoga is an extremely forced, bizarre experience where one fake laughs, does all sorts of touchy-feely group therapy silly stuff, and does no exercise what so ever.  My stiff upper lip, New England upbringing made this one seriously uncomfortable hour, let me tell you.  There is constant eye-contact, (a must),  lots of touching, (yuck), "free dancing", (just weird), and way too much sharing of feelings, (I did not add to the conversation).  My friend C from school heard about it and suggested we give it a try as we do Pilates together and love it.  Fortunately we were supposed to be laughing throughout the session because every time we looked at each other we cracked up.  All the regulars, (really not an appropriate word here), are elderly ladies with obviously few outlets cause, man, did they let it out there.  A few were aging hippies with long grey braids and groovy clothes. (They were the most interesting dancers and the most intense starers).  Others were lonely gals who count these people as friends. (They were the weepers).  Then there were a few seemingly normal people but after seeing them in action that notion disappeared.  Let me fill you in on just a few of the "exercises".  There was the "imagine you are flossing your brain" where we all walked around fake laughing and moving our hands back and forth on either sides of our heads.  There was the "find a partner and discuss romance without words, just laughter".  That was a nice one because I got stuck with the only man in the class who may or may not have asked me to have sex as I was the only under 60.  Then there was the "car wash" where we walked between two lines of people while they laughed and ran their fingers all over us.  Very awkward!  I couldn't get out of there fast enough.  C who is exceedingly polite stayed to thank the instructor and to say good bye to all of the participants.  When she got in the car she looked at me and asked me if I'd ever forgive her.  Sure, I said.  It'll make a good Blog entry.  (By the way, I Googled "follow around like a bad dream" and it's all mine!  I'll let you use it.)  xxoo me

Our road is being re-tarred.  Or let me rephrase that.  A part of our road is being re-tarred.  They started this project days ago, maybe a week.  The sister was still here.  It is a piece of road less than 500 feet long where some underground wiring was installed, (a couple months ago mind you).  First they blocked off the parking area for a few days without actually doing any work, simply inconveniencing the residents.  Then they brought in the equipment and let that sit around for a day or so.  Then Wednesday they spent all day grating the section of road to be paved.  The right half of a narrow, less than 500 feet section of road.  All day.  Yesterday they sat around again.  Today they began tarring.  All this time my usual parking spot has been off limits so I've been half up on the sidewalk beside the recycling bins.  What really gets me is that all around this newly tarred area there are potholes and bumps enough to knock out your teeth.  But God forbid the town actually redo the roads.  This work is being done by the local internet company that was putting down the wires.  They only repaired the road because it is required in order to get permission to provide service here.  I'm sure someone pocketed lots of cash for this.  I'm getting really tired of Italy on this front.  It is corrupt and mismanaged and "who gives a shit" and "what can I get out of it", everywhere you turn.  At school the office staff are all Italian and seem incapable or unwilling to do their work on time or without incident and error.  In the front office, the receptionists are foreign and perfectly capable.  The Italians can't be fired as they have permanent contracts and unless they commit homicide are Velcro-ed to their desks.  The foreigners have temporary contracts.  Hmmmm.   I've been trying to get my tax forms from the woman responsible for such things and all I get is the Italian shrug and the "what can I do?"  Grace was supposed to go to a college fair this weekend but the school waited too long and there are no spaces for our kids.  Undoubtedly all of the high school students there will be from Switzerland or Germany or some functioning nation like that.  Italy has a lot going for it.  It is beautiful.  The food and wine are incomparable. (Sorry France).  The art and culture are epic.  But Jesus, living here can be downright exhausting!  Gonna go drink some of that good wine.  xxoo me

Alas vacation is really over.  Some things to note from the week were these.  The sister re-introduced me to pomegranates, (re-introduced to her by cousin D.), which cost little here and are soooo yummy!  We tried a wonderful new wine that even V liked and in fact she may have had more than me!  I've located the winery and intend to descend upon it sometime soon with a designated driver.   Nothing in Italy is ever open when you expect it to be.  Almost every museum, castle or shop we tried to visit was closed precisely when we chose to go there.   If we went on Monday , it was closed on Mondays.  If we went on Wednesday, it was closed on Wednesdays.  If we went at 2pm it closed at 1:30.  I'm sure it was a plot.  And these:

My daughter is ashamed to be seen in public with me.

This is why we don't often LET her out in public.

xxoo me

We are back from 2 days on Lago Maggiore, a gorgeous area north of here that borders Switzerland.  Amazingly it didn't rain!  Poor Vicki has not had the best weather but these two days were very nice.  We have walked so much every day my knees ache and I make much too much noise when standing up.  I generally leave all the travel driving to GP so this was my first venture out of these parts on my own.  I drove on the highways, (in the slow lane), up and down a dozen tiny twisty mountain roads with sheer cliffs on one side, (without looking at the stupendous views), and in all types of traffic where Italian craziness abounds. We lived!  On Lago Maggiore, we followed the lake up to the border of Switzerland.  The towns are lovely, very prosperous, touristic places that cater to the Swiss and the Germans.  There are loads of huge villas and estates that we desperately wanted to explore but doubted the owners would let us in if we knocked.  Damn them!  On Saturday we came upon a Carnival procession where towns people were dressed as royalty, jesters were jesting and court musicians were playing.  They all stopped to eat and drink at a bar near us where I could swear I saw the Burger King!  XXOO me

Kayak Tree on Isola dei Pescatori

It's Burger King!

I guess one of the boys said, "Does anyone else feel a bit awkward?", and all the others just shrugged and kept eating their popcorn.  When I was sixteen the big movie was Starwars.  The big sex scene was Hans Solo kissing Princess Leia.  (Or was that the second movie?)  In any case is surely wasn't 50 Shades of Yikes.  Well this old lady with her achy legs is off to play tourist.  I hope there are no hills.  xxoo me

I am driving my 16 year old to the cinema to see an S & M movie with a group of her friends.  My haven't times changed.  I told her guy friends not to get any ideas.  She was horrified.  While the daughter is watching whips and chains and who knows what else, (never read the book and don't intend to), Vicki and I will be recovering from another long walk.  We've been out every day in rain and snow.  Today we went to the mountains again to snowshoe, yesterday was a hike in the countryside, the day before we walked for hours all around the city.  I'm exhausted!  Tomorrow we are going up to the lakes to seek George Clooney.  xxoo me

Screw wars and terrorist attacks, record snow or the plight of thousands of immigrants, Italy is in mourning for Michele Ferrero, the patriarch of Ferrero chocolate company and owner of Nutella.  Nutella which is in every kitchen in the country.  (And probably hidden in quite a few desks and under some beds.)  He was also the wealthiest man in Italy, (though he lived in Monaco).  His grandkids go to our school and do I get free chocolate treats?  Noooooooooo.

Poor Vicki came with lousy weather.  February here could be glorious and springlike but we've had rain non-stop.  Hoping for an improvement later in the week when we go up to the lake area.  She did herself proud last night at dinner with the mother-in-law.  Managed to try a bit of everything from appetizers through dessert and even put away 2.5 glasses of wine!  Brava!   Today I'll take her on a tour of Torino.  With this lovely rain we'll visit some museums if they are open, shops and such.

xxoo me

Unbelievable!  The sister travels for 20 plus hours, sleeps a short 6 hours, should have jet lag and still manages to leave us in the dust snowshoeing today!  GP and I were huffing and puffing, sweating and resting all the way through our three hour hike and SHE was fresh as a daisy, awaiting us at the top of the mountain when we arrived!  There is something very wrong with this picture.  I am the younger sister!  GP said we'd show her tomorrow night when we go to his mother's for dinner.  We can out eat and out drink her any day!  xxoo me

Before my heart palpitations

This has been a long though uneventful week.  I've just been waiting for tonight.  The middle sister came to visit!  Yeah!  We have next week off from school so I have lots of little things planned.  All of the dental work and traffic tickets have put me in the red so we're sticking close to home.  Our big splurge will be two days up around the lakes that border Switzerland.  Fingers crossed for good weather.  xxoo me

I just got a 130 euro speeding ticket in the mail!  Me!  Pokey!  They have speed traps set up all over and one in particular that I occasionally pass, quickly evidently.  My feet are soaked because there is a foot of slush in the parking lot of the school and here at our condo.  Nobody plows or shovels and our BIG SNOW is ruining my shoes.  This has not been a good week.  I'm baking double chocolate muffins.  xxoo me

BIG SNOW

The local weather forecasters have been saying we are going to get a BIG SNOW today.  Those are the actual words they use, "BIG SNOW", in English, in capitals, in italics.  I think they've been watching the storm center on WCSH6 (are they the ones with their winter sweaters?).  Maybe they think it sounds more dramatic in a foreign language.  Weather forecasts as entertainment are definitely an American phenomenon but it's catching on here too.  But BIG SNOW my ass.  It was 36 degrees and raining when we left home this morning.  It was even raining in the mountains.  The snow that was supposed to start at midnight finally started at about noon.  Big wet flakes that have been coming down for hours now without accumulating.  An April snow for Maine.  I don't see us getting the many inches they promised.  One would think the forecasters here were flunkie, dropouts of meteorologic school but you know what's really frightening?  They are a branch of the military.  Air Force in fact.  I sincerely hope that Italy is never invaded.  And are these people hanging their heads in shame?  No!  They are still insisting that it's a BIG SNOW!  Look outta the window for chrissakes!  Well at this point they have 5 and 1/2 hours to get that accumulation on the ground but as it's just turned back to rain, that's unlikely.  Guess there will be school tomorrow.....xxoo me

Argh!  I must detract my words.  I hate detracting my words.  It is openly admitting that I was wrong.  The new president is not a bad guy.  Yes, he is from the south and yes, he is a judge but he is a supreme court judge, based in Rome, (not that Rome isn't corrupt), and his brother was head of some anti-mafia group and was assassinated for his efforts.  So we'll see what comes of it.  I've said I don't follow politics here.  Politics are much too complicated and there are way too many players.  Any country that allows Berlusconi to wander around free, (house arrest, ya right), and still participate in politics, (he is still a big party leader), doesn't deserve that huge effort it would take me to understand the whole process.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  Has Berlusconi shown up on the news there lately?  My God he gets less human-like each time I see him.  He looks like a Madam Tussaud's wax figure of himself.  With his fake tan, make-up, various lifts and spray painted hair, he's downright scary.

Something has been niggling at my little brain and I have finally figured it out.   Propolis, the drops I am taking for my cold, is the same stuff mom used to give me to dab on mouth ulcers (cankers).  I've been trying to place the familiar vile taste for days and that's it!  It's also in car wax and used for genital herpes.  I don't care.  As far as I'm concerned it's a miracle medicine.  xxoo me