It would seem I have no left side of my brain.  I should be walking all lopsided.  Grace found a test that's been making the rounds on Facebook that supposedly measures the amount of left or right brain one uses.  I use practically none of my left.  This might explain why I can read a letter from the IRS or SSA 20 times and still not understand it.  We are still battling our 2012 tax screw-up.  A plague upon you JH!!!!!!  Now it seems we didn't pay enough in SS taxes.  Will it never end?  I'm terrified to look at our mail box for fear another letter from one government agency or another may be in there.  I'm going to have to defect to North Korea or some place without extradition.  I hear they have great parades.  Enough about that.  My half brain is about to implode.

So my various health issues have me off caffeine (urinary mystery), off sweets and cheeses (cholesterol) and even cutting back on wine!  Strange things have started to happen.  Mainly I have not lost weight!  What is that all about?  But I have been a little on the hyper side.  No snide comments people!  I know I often act hyper but I don't generally feel hyper, especially considering the large quantities of coffee I usually consume.  But by cutting out sugar and caffeine I actually seem to be more energetic.  In fact a bit overly so.....  I have done an amazing amount of work in the library.  I've been organizing, relabeling, shelving, packing up and shipping away books by the dozens.  I have also found myself saying and doing some rather cheeky things.  Today I got kicked out of a colleague's classroom during a meeting because I overstayed my welcome, (I was entertaining them with my quick wit and humor), I suggested we bring back corporal punishment to some 7th graders who didn't seem to appreciate it and then slapped a colleague on the backside in a moment of jovial camaraderie only later thinking that I really don't know her that well, she's Grace's chemistry teacher and, oh yeah, she's gay.  I don't know what's come over me.  This is bizarre behavior even for me.  Maybe it's spring madness.  xxoo me

Here is a short aside from my day.  For those of you with a delicate constitution or who blush at talk of bodily functions, stop reading now!  Turn away before it is too late!  Yesterday I saw the doctor who has not diagnosed my problem but who has lined me up for days more testing.  My problem is that I have to pee constantly and it is not any of your usual suspects.  So obviously today while snowshoeing, I had to go.  It's not your normal, I have to go but will hold it in for a while, but a painful pressure that feels like someone placed a bowling ball on top of my bladder.  The first time, (yes, there was more than one), we were on a wide trail used by both snowshoers and cross-country skiers.  There was no one in sight so I thought I'd just scoot behind a small outbuilding at the edge of the track.  But no.  The moment I got to the shed a group of skiers came around the corner, followed by a second group not far behind.  OK, no problem.  Plan B was to go up a steep, (and I mean steep), narrow trail that led up the mountain and find a nice tree to squat behind.  This trail was obviously for snowshoeing as I believe I mentioned it was steep.  So we start up this trail huffing and puffing and I feel like my bladder is about to explode.  When we are high enough up to be safe from prying eyes I look down and what do I see?  The flippin' skiers are skiing UPHILL!  Who skis UPHILL?  So now I'm practically in tears and group one is coming at us all happy and smiley and skiing UPHILL and group two is at the mouth of the trail trying to decide if they too want to ski UPHILL or continue on the main trail.  All I want to do is pee!  So just when the UPHILL skiers are out of sight as they skied UP very fast and the other group has finally moved on below, what to my wondering eyes should appear but a snowmobile!  At this point I threw everything in my hands, (poles, gloves, backpack) at GP and started off across the unbroken 5 feet of snow for the nearest cover cause there was no more holding it.  I don't think anyone saw me as I didn't hear any screams but I may have frostbite on my nether regions.  Who skis UPHILL?  xxoo me

Frickin' dawn

sunrise

marshmallow snow and bunny prints

my snazzy snowshoes

GP working

that tiny dot on the left is GP still working

I have created a monster.  My dear, dear husband awoke me before the birdies this morning to go snowshoeing.  Some years ago in Maine I gave him equipment for Christmas as his only exercise is walking and I thought this would be an easy transition into a winter sport.  We went a few times every year but didn't exaggerate.  Since we've come back to Italy, GP's love of the Alps has turned him into an enthusiast, (I am by nature not an enthusiast of anything.  Takes too much effort).  This is probably brought on by aging health and weight issues plus the fact that we are an hour away and it's free.  But being my slightly OC hubby, we have to go early to beat the traffic and have time to get back in the afternoon and "do" things so as not to "waste time".  God Forbid.  It was so early this morning that the sun hadn't even come up over the mountains when we got up there and it was freaking freezing!  After a half an hour of tromping up hill I warmed up enough to stop and look around.  Gorgeous.  It ain't the ocean but it's mighty fine.  The temps were in the 20's in the morning, went up to mid 30's by the time we headed back at 1pm but were up in the 60's here in the burbs.  Winter may be holding on up there but it's spring down here.

Now the unfortunate thing about Europe is that one is never far away from a good sized city.  There is little wilderness and you can't "escape from it all".  While up there this morning, seemly miles above the real world, there was cellphone coverage.  Where there is cellphone coverage there is always going to be one of GP's colleagues calling about work.   And there was.  Three or more times.  I hate cellphones.  xxoo me

I believe me hubby is a bit stressed these days.  He's working ridiculous hours and trying to juggle two companies and it's getting to him.  He booked an appointment for me today.  I left work early, drove to the train station, took the train to the city, walked 15 minutes to the office, only to be told my appointment was booked for tomorrow.  Oh. 

My appointment is with a doctor.  I seem to have spent an inordinate amount of time in doctor's offices, clinics, pharmacies and hospitals in 2014 so far.  I hope it won't be like this all year.  There is a reason Italians out live us and no matter what I professed in the past, it's not the red wine.  It's preventative care.  General practitioners do nothing but prescribe tests and write out "prescriptions" for specialists.  My ordeal started out with funny heart flutters and with family history and all, I went to see my doctor.  He ordered a full blood work-up, a visit with a cardiologist, and a gastroscopic something or another test which I have not yet done because I don't have the time nor do I see the need.  My heart is fine, high cholesterol, no more chocolate or cheese for a while.  Then I had the flu for which I refused to go to the doctor because I didn't want another whole battery of tests.  So I self medicated and survived.  The latest is that I have what I thought was a bladder infection.  But alas not so simple.  Seems it may be a "women's issue" so thus the appointment today, (actually tomorrow), with the specialist in the city.  I can just imagine all this is going to entail.  But here are a couple interesting things.  Had I chosen to see a gynecologist through the national medical plan, the cost would have been 25 euro which is the standard co-pay for a specialist.  I may have had to wait a couple weeks to see one.  Had I chosen to use the private insurance that the school provides, it would have cost 50 euro and I could have seen the doctor next Tuesday.  But as I am very uncomfortable because I have to pee every five minutes I am going as a self pay, the cost is 70 euro and I'll see her tomorrow.  The cost difference is very small because in order to compete with the national health care plan, private doctors keep costs low, as do private clinics and labs.  I can pay privately for a full blood work-up that would cost me hundreds if not thousands in the States for less than $50.  And here's the other interesting point.  It doesn't matter if you go publicly or privately, the doctors are all the same.  Every doctor here is obligated to give so many hours to the public system.  If they wish they can have a private practice on the side.  The only difference is time.  As a private patient, you cut the line.
There are also private clinics and hospitals that are esthetically more pleasing than the public institutions, but the care you get is the same. 

Then yesterday, my colleague in the library got a call just as I was leaving for a hair appointment which left her sobbing on her keyboard.  Her husband was having chest pains and needed to go to the hospital.  The problem was that neither of them speak Italian and didn't know how to go about going to the ER.  So being the heroic person that I am, I moved my hair appointment and took them to the hospital, cause I haven't had enough of medical personnel yet.  I found them a nurse who speaks English and left after about a half an hour.  He had 3 EKGs, 2 rounds of blood tests, and I don't know what else but wasn't released till 1 am with a huge stack of test results proving that he's a healthy as a horse.  Thank God.  As not only a non Italian citizen, but not even a EU citizen, what did it cost him?  Nada, nyet, niente.  Not one red cent. 

On another note, spring is here.  Primulas are everywhere and my forsythia has started to turn.  Yeah!  xxoo me

GP isn't home for dinner tonight which means the kitchen is on vacation.  No cooking will be done.  When the husband is home, the table is set, dinner is prepared and we all three sit and eat together.  It's sacrosanct.  But that's Italy for you.  Kids have to be home for dinner.  They rarely eat at friends houses or out in town but go out after the family meal.  Dinners are the time to be together, talk about the day, pay respects to the older people in the family who often live with them or near enough to share meals.  GP takes this tradition very seriously and we have been butting heads over it for 30 years.  It may be that I was raised eating dinner off TV trays, or it may be my years of waitressing that makes it impossible for me to leave dirty dishes on the table, or it may be the familial AADD, but I have a hard time staying seated after I've finished eating.  GP and my in-laws will stay at the table for an hour or more, surrounded by the remains of the meal, crumbs and spills, dishes and napkins.  It makes me nervous.  I have to get up and move to the sofa in the kitchen (with a glass of wine of course) or I'll start scraping crumbs from the cloth like in a Michelin star restaurant.  God forbid I volunteer to do the dishes.  THIS IS NOT DONE!  My most vivid first memories of Italy are the endless meals.  It wasn't just with the numerous courses, but the conversations that went on and on, sometimes loud and fist thumping, often repeating the same conversation of the night before.  Talking just to be talking.  I'll never forget the weeks long conversation about a new water heater.  What size, shape, color, power, around and around and around.  I felt like screaming, "Just buy the damned thing and stop talking about it!"  I think GP's family shared more words in a week than our family did in my entire youth.  Before I learned the language I was sure they were arguing as Italians are often very passionate speakers.  After some time I realized that my mother-in-law was not in fact going to stab GP with a carving knife but just wanted him to take a second helping.  So mealtime is family time, just like on Leave It To Beaver, and as I know it's a wonderful tradition I save my slovenly ways for summers and GP's business trips.  So this morning I told Grace to eat a big lunch.  I've pulled out the yogurt and cookies.  We're good.  I may even talk to her.  xxoo me

So the government was dissolved but looks like there is a new Prime Minister, though not official, from the same party.  Whatever.  More importantly to our daily lives is the fact that we've been waiting for a very long time for some things to arrive from The States and we're getting desperate.  Remember the little problem with our accountant and last year's taxes?  Still on-going.  Combine that with the Italian postal system and we're in deep doodoo.  Our mail service is so irregular I've been studying it to find a pattern.  What I've concluded is that our mailman can't be bothered to come to our building unless he has accumulated a certain amount of post, so he must be squirreling all the mail away somewhere till he has a nice bundle.  It is pretty obvious because no one gets any mail for days on end and then BOOM all the boxes are full.  I still have Christmas cards trickling in.  It's very frustrating but to be expected in a country where post offices don't sell stamps.  On another note, it is already trying to be spring here.  GP and I went for our river walk yesterday and there was a hint in the air.  The riverfront was very busy as this weekend Torino is hosting an international sculling competition.  There were hundreds of boats being prepared to race, hundreds of very fit people wandering around and flags from various countries planted along the banks of the Po.  Rowing is a very popular sport here with rowing clubs all up and down the river. 

setting up

Italian champion starting off ceremonies

Last night we went out for a belated Valentine's dinner with some friends.  We went to the wine region as hadn't ventured that far since late autumn.  Have you noticed how little I've been talking about food?  I'm trying to behave.  xxoo me

The Italian government has dissolved again today.  No worries.  xxoo me

I've been trying rather unsuccessfully to watch the Olympics.  The rights were bought by Sky TV which is a pay channel.  We barely watch TV so we don't pay for anything, not even the yearly tax the one should pay in order to own a TV!  In fact the only person that I know who does pays that is my father-in-law who is must have been terribly traumatized by a police officer in his childhood because he is afraid of absolutely everything, especially "breaking the rules".  So back to the Olympics.  There is a new channel on free TV called "Cielo" which means "sky" and because this is Italy, seems to have stolen programming from SKY TV.  They've found some sort of loophole obviously because they don't show the events in their entirety.  I just watched a few minutes of jumps then it skipped to a few minutes of couples skating and it has just hopped to snowboarding.  So I've been able to catch bits and pieces of the games.  Now this is what I am pondering.  If it is illegal to be homosexual in Russia, who exactly is going to compete in the men's figure skating in these Olympics for the Russians?  Not PC?  Ah well, not my forte.  xxoo me

There's been a shooting in Torino!  And not even in one of the more disreputable areas but smack in the center where we often roam!  It happened like this.  Some thieves tried to rob a shop in Via Garibaldi, a principle shopping street.  They decided to escape by stealing an unmarked police car parked outside as, being a pedestrian street, there were no other cars to steal..  So many things wrong with this planning.  You rob a store on a pedestrian shopping street?  Hello?  Can you say "get away"?  Then steal a police car?  Tracking device anyone?  Yup.  The cops caught up with them near the river and blocked them off.  One guy came out of the car like a pistoliero with a gun in each hand and then proceeded to hold them to his own temples threatening to kill himself.  Who are these guys?  Really bad thieves evidently.  So I'm not sure who started it but an officer popped him.  There were one or two others in the car that were arrested and now there will be months of investigation and probably years of trials even though it's pretty obvious they're guilty.  The shocking thing in all this is that the police officer, a Carabinieri to be precise, actually shot somebody.  The cops here never shoot anyone.  In fact gun violence in Italy is very rare, pretty much restricted to organized crime families and their dealings.  The last time this cop probably took his gun out of the holster was to use it to scratch his head when he was trying to spell "parking violation".  The coverage has been on every news channel local and national.  Can you imagine if every crook shot by a cop were on national news in the States?  When GP was a kid there was a period of time when Torino was actually quite dangerous.  In the '70's and early '80's the Brigata Rossa, Red Brigades, were active up here.  They were a communist paramilitary group that wanted to destabilize the government.  They ran around robbing banks, blowing things up and kidnapping important people until they were all caught or killed or just ran out of steam.  But especially during the 1970's there was a lot of disruption in the city with strikes and closings brought on by this group.  The public schools were closed so often that GP's parents sent him to a private institute for high school.  Every morning his bus would have to run a gauntlet through road blocks and checks.  I think this is the main reason he joined the Carabinieri, military police, for his post school service.  He thought it would be exciting and he'd see some action.  He spent the entire time doing guard duty outside concerts and football games.  They must have seen him coming!!  xxoo me

My bidet is leaking.  This would not be a problem if it were used for what a bidet is meant to be used for, washing the lower regions, because it would not be used at all.  I use it for hand washing and soaking my feet.  It is conveniently situated right in front of the toilet which we all know is the most comfortable place in the house to sit and read, so I can easily soak my toes while tucking into my favorite book.  Though all houses in Italy, possibly continental Europe, still come equipped with bidet, I don't know how many are actually used for their intended purposes.  They came in handy when there was no central heating and people only bathed once a week but now with modern plumbing and heating everywhere, (except Great Britain), I think bidet are only used for bathing by the elderly and whore houses.   But though it's impossible to find an apartment without a bidet, it is perfectly easy to find one without a full kitchen.  Often times "furnished" apartments are only furnished with an electric cooking top and a hotel fridge in the corner of a room and they'll call that the kitchen.  I have a colleague, a young Englishman, who does his dishes where?  In the bidet!  Why he doesn't do them in the bathroom sink is beyond me but it all reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Kramer prepares dinner for Elaine in his shower.  So back to my leaky bidet.  For a while now the floor in the "girls" bathroom has been wet and I've been secretly blaming Grace for not shutting the shower curtain enough.  Then last weekend she was gone overnight and there was still a large puddle beside the tub in the morning.  So after days of wrestling with the shower curtain, rearranging it this way or that, this morning while wiping up yet more water, I discovered a leak.  We've had this place since 1990.  It was practically used only 15 days a year for 20 years but everything is beginning to fall apart.  We've replaced the fridge, the water heater, both showers (one the entire stall), some of the external roll-down shutters, half of the radiators and the garage door.  That's just since moving back last year and I'm sure I'm forgetting something.  I'm expecting the washing machine and the stove to go next.  Oh the joys of home ownership.  xxoo me

I'm home sick again.  Sore throat.  Half the school is ill with something.  I think we're all rotting as hasn't stopped raining in weeks.  This is winter in Central Europe.  Last year's beautiful, sunny season was all an illusion to keep me from packing my bags and escaping while I still could.  Now I'm trapped and mouldering.  Sooooooo, as I needed to get a slip from the doctor, which makes me feel like a naughty schoolgirl, I used this occasion to show him the results of my recent blood tests.  It would seem that I've been misbehaving.  Oh retrieveth your minds from the gutter.  Not like that!  (It was the naughty schoolgirl comment wasn't it?)   No, alas, my cholesterol is a wee bit high.  (Note that in Italy the ceiling is 240 not 200).  And though I'm sure it has nothing at all to do with the incredible Italian chocolate that I barely nibble or the 200 types of local cheeses that almost never pass my lips, he's cut me off and told me to retake the test in 3 months.  Son of a bitch.  Of course now all I can think about is chocolate and cheese.
My doctor is actually a lovely man though I only understand half of what he says.  I don't know if it's the vocabulary he uses, MEDICAL words and such, or the fact that he bites off the ends of his words and speaks really quickly.  I always have to lean forward and watch his lips while he's talking, and ask a lot of questions to clarify.  I'm sure he thinks I'm strange but he wouldn't be the first.  Every time I go in I get a lecture on some discourse.  Today it was beef.  Locally raised, free range beef is good.  German beef raised in "lagers", or concentration camps, and shot up with hormones and antibiotics, is bad.  There are two things to be said here.  First of all, lots of Italians still dislike the Germans, as seen by the use of the word "lagers" when describing the factory raised beef imported from the neighbors in the north.  Secondly, as I pointed out, the raising of animals in this industrial, inhumane way, probably came from the U.S..  He ignored me and continued his rant.  It's not the first time I've heard Italians blame all that's evil on the Germans.  There is a lot of resentment left over from the war, especially in the North where it was occupied for so long.  I think they'll still need another generation before the slate is wiped clean.  GP's parents were children during the occupation and have vivid memories of executions and disappearances of neighbors, of brothers being beaten and of having to run and hide in the wine cellars.  As long as their generation is alive so are all those memories.  Strange but most of the Germans I know are vegetarians.  xxoo me

It's really interesting following the news from two sides of the "pond".  I read CNN and other American news channels online and watch the national news here on TV.  I've been half watching the playing out of the Amanda Knox case.  In Italy everyone is convinced that she's guilty where in the States most seem to think she's innocent.  I watched an interview with Alan Dershowitz, (I think is was), and he said that had she been tried in the U.S., with the amount and type of evidence against her that they have here, she'd probably be on death row.  Where Americans think that she's a victim of a banana republic type legal system, she has actually been freed in the face of overwhelming evidence.  It is very difficult to be imprisoned in Italy, impossible to be executed.  While seen suffering in a cell she had weekly hairdressing appointments, (yes, they do that here), and university classes.  And on American news channels they keep using the term "double jeopardy", implying that she's been tried twice, that's actually not the case.  Her first trial, where she was found guilty, was overturned.  Then going to an upper court, THAT decision was overturned.  She was never really "retried" but judges just reviewed the original trial, facts and evidence.  The day that this new verdict came in, Friday I think, Sollicito, Knox's onetime boyfriend and co-defendant, was found trying to cross over the border into Switzerland.   Unfortunately for him he forgot to leave his very traceable cellphone at home.  Something, or should I say someone, that is never mentioned either here or there, is the man who really is sitting in prison for this crime.  At the time of the murder three people were arrested; Knox, Sollicito and an African man named Guede who was tried and immediately found guilty of assisting in her death.  I find it sad that so much attention has been paid to Knox, a young pretty, white American, and this poor guy is languishing in jail.  He was convicted not of the murder by the way, but of having assisted others in the murder.  Those "others" are still free.  No worries for him though as he'll be out in another year or so as long sentences tend to end up being 5-10 years max.  While a lot of America sees the Italian justice system as being harsh it's actually waaaaayyyyy to lenient.  Knox will never see a day of jail here and Sollicito will get another appeal that will go on for years.  You'd have to burn down a fully booked orphanage to be put away for any length of time in this country.  The streets are swarming with people who should be in jail for one thing or another.  So is the government for that matter....  xxoo me