It would seem I have no left side of my brain.  I should be walking all lopsided.  Grace found a test that's been making the rounds on Facebook that supposedly measures the amount of left or right brain one uses.  I use practically none of my left.  This might explain why I can read a letter from the IRS or SSA 20 times and still not understand it.  We are still battling our 2012 tax screw-up.  A plague upon you JH!!!!!!  Now it seems we didn't pay enough in SS taxes.  Will it never end?  I'm terrified to look at our mail box for fear another letter from one government agency or another may be in there.  I'm going to have to defect to North Korea or some place without extradition.  I hear they have great parades.  Enough about that.  My half brain is about to implode.

So my various health issues have me off caffeine (urinary mystery), off sweets and cheeses (cholesterol) and even cutting back on wine!  Strange things have started to happen.  Mainly I have not lost weight!  What is that all about?  But I have been a little on the hyper side.  No snide comments people!  I know I often act hyper but I don't generally feel hyper, especially considering the large quantities of coffee I usually consume.  But by cutting out sugar and caffeine I actually seem to be more energetic.  In fact a bit overly so.....  I have done an amazing amount of work in the library.  I've been organizing, relabeling, shelving, packing up and shipping away books by the dozens.  I have also found myself saying and doing some rather cheeky things.  Today I got kicked out of a colleague's classroom during a meeting because I overstayed my welcome, (I was entertaining them with my quick wit and humor), I suggested we bring back corporal punishment to some 7th graders who didn't seem to appreciate it and then slapped a colleague on the backside in a moment of jovial camaraderie only later thinking that I really don't know her that well, she's Grace's chemistry teacher and, oh yeah, she's gay.  I don't know what's come over me.  This is bizarre behavior even for me.  Maybe it's spring madness.  xxoo me

Here is a short aside from my day.  For those of you with a delicate constitution or who blush at talk of bodily functions, stop reading now!  Turn away before it is too late!  Yesterday I saw the doctor who has not diagnosed my problem but who has lined me up for days more testing.  My problem is that I have to pee constantly and it is not any of your usual suspects.  So obviously today while snowshoeing, I had to go.  It's not your normal, I have to go but will hold it in for a while, but a painful pressure that feels like someone placed a bowling ball on top of my bladder.  The first time, (yes, there was more than one), we were on a wide trail used by both snowshoers and cross-country skiers.  There was no one in sight so I thought I'd just scoot behind a small outbuilding at the edge of the track.  But no.  The moment I got to the shed a group of skiers came around the corner, followed by a second group not far behind.  OK, no problem.  Plan B was to go up a steep, (and I mean steep), narrow trail that led up the mountain and find a nice tree to squat behind.  This trail was obviously for snowshoeing as I believe I mentioned it was steep.  So we start up this trail huffing and puffing and I feel like my bladder is about to explode.  When we are high enough up to be safe from prying eyes I look down and what do I see?  The flippin' skiers are skiing UPHILL!  Who skis UPHILL?  So now I'm practically in tears and group one is coming at us all happy and smiley and skiing UPHILL and group two is at the mouth of the trail trying to decide if they too want to ski UPHILL or continue on the main trail.  All I want to do is pee!  So just when the UPHILL skiers are out of sight as they skied UP very fast and the other group has finally moved on below, what to my wondering eyes should appear but a snowmobile!  At this point I threw everything in my hands, (poles, gloves, backpack) at GP and started off across the unbroken 5 feet of snow for the nearest cover cause there was no more holding it.  I don't think anyone saw me as I didn't hear any screams but I may have frostbite on my nether regions.  Who skis UPHILL?  xxoo me

Frickin' dawn

sunrise

marshmallow snow and bunny prints

my snazzy snowshoes

GP working

that tiny dot on the left is GP still working

I have created a monster.  My dear, dear husband awoke me before the birdies this morning to go snowshoeing.  Some years ago in Maine I gave him equipment for Christmas as his only exercise is walking and I thought this would be an easy transition into a winter sport.  We went a few times every year but didn't exaggerate.  Since we've come back to Italy, GP's love of the Alps has turned him into an enthusiast, (I am by nature not an enthusiast of anything.  Takes too much effort).  This is probably brought on by aging health and weight issues plus the fact that we are an hour away and it's free.  But being my slightly OC hubby, we have to go early to beat the traffic and have time to get back in the afternoon and "do" things so as not to "waste time".  God Forbid.  It was so early this morning that the sun hadn't even come up over the mountains when we got up there and it was freaking freezing!  After a half an hour of tromping up hill I warmed up enough to stop and look around.  Gorgeous.  It ain't the ocean but it's mighty fine.  The temps were in the 20's in the morning, went up to mid 30's by the time we headed back at 1pm but were up in the 60's here in the burbs.  Winter may be holding on up there but it's spring down here.

Now the unfortunate thing about Europe is that one is never far away from a good sized city.  There is little wilderness and you can't "escape from it all".  While up there this morning, seemly miles above the real world, there was cellphone coverage.  Where there is cellphone coverage there is always going to be one of GP's colleagues calling about work.   And there was.  Three or more times.  I hate cellphones.  xxoo me